Fall is a Beautiful Time of Year

Fall, what a beautiful time of year. Beautiful weather, nature looking picturesque and holidays for everyone to enjoy. For me, this fall has been different. My baby went off to college and I became an empty nester. Well, I do have one more at home, but he’s 20 and lives his own life. I don’t see him much.

I look at Facebook and get to see all the great things people are enjoying in life. Kids are growing up and moving on. Going to prom, graduating, and heading off to college or out on their own in the working world. At that point we as parents are also starting our new life. Couples are getting to know each other all over again. Single parents start to enjoy the next chapter of life and all the freedoms of being single without being tied down.

Empty nester has a whole new meaning for me. It’s the beginning of the next stage of my life. My husband died 19 years ago and over the last 6 years I’ve lost a large part of my family. I’ve taken time to grieve but with my youngest going off to college it really started to sink in that I’m starting a whole new life.

When Halloween came along, I sat here for the first time in years by myself. I just didn’t realize it would hit me how much my life is changing. The next day was my grandmother’s birthday. She’s been gone for 2 years now and I miss her every day.

I started reminiscing about my family and how much I miss them. I was raking leaves and remembered the time that my grandmother was here and sat in a chair putting leaves in a back. Mind you, she was blind but she really wanted to help. I smile whenever I think about it. She was sick for a few years before she died. When it was time for her to go into hospice I knew I had to try to go see her one last time. I got online and found a round trip ticket for around $100. It was to go Friday and come back Saturday or the flight went up to $400. I was supposed to go see her and I’m so I got to go and say good bye. It was hard to see her like that, but I’m so glad I did. She looked peaceful laying there with her beautiful smile.

Or my stepfather who used to come and try to find things to do around my house. So many stories there. Towards the end of his life, when he couldn’t do much, I used to junk up my junk drawer so he’d have something he could do to help me. We both loved it in our own way. He used to tape all my pens together so if I needed one I’d have to pull the tape off. It always made me laugh. The last time I saw him my kids and I were visiting him and my mother in Florida. The boys and my mother went out somewhere and I stayed home with him. He said “I’ll be in bed by 8:00, That’s my bed time.” “Of course” I said, “That’s always been the case. You go to bed and watch TV.” That night he sat with me until everyone came home. We cleaned out the bag of coffee, sugar and sweet and low together. “I think I need a cup of coffee” he said. His plan was to stay up with me until mom and the kids got home so he could prove that he could stay awake.

I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d see him, but he and I were meant to spend that time together.

The holidays are a time for family and close friends. I’m lucky to have my two boys even though they have lives of their own we got to spend quality time together.

Those of you that have large families or your spouse that you’ve spent so many wonderful years together, be thankful. Enjoy each day and each moment. It’s precious time and enjoy every minute of it.

My Dog is Sick

My dog is sick and I’m hit with the reality that she is an old dog. I adopted her 4 years ago and she’s now 11. I’ve become so attached to her it’s hard to think of her not being a part of my life.

Lulu, my dog, sitting on the couch

At the vet I find out that there is some concern and I need to do some tests. We aren’t sure what’s wrong. She’s more active than normal but also going to the bathroom more than normal. Tests can become expensive. Those expenses are only the tests, then there’s medication and retests once she’s done with the medication.

One step at a time

We run some tests, just the most important. The tests were $166 making the visit total $250. Now it’s go home and wait.

The next morning, Ring, ring, the test results are in. I get the call to find out that her liver is showing higher than normal numbers. Like they should be about 100 and they are 1500. (don’t ask what the numbers are or mean, all I know is it’s a big difference and doesn’t sound good)

The medications would be $125, but they have a program where I could get one of the prescriptions free. So it was only $95. Next week I go back to get more tests done to see how she’s doing. I’m sure it will be $166 or more, bringing the total to $511.

In December I took both my dogs to the vet and had to do IMG_1274some vaccines. I only did the required because as it turned out the other dog had a tear in his eye. That visit with medication was over $600.

I still have to get more vaccines.

When is enough. At this point I don’t have to worry because it’s minor. I’ve seen people with dogs that had cancer and they continued to treat their animals. Sometimes spending upward or $10,000.
So when do you know enough is enough.
It’s an individual choice, just like people, each person is entitled to their opinion. And each of us will decide what’s right for us.

IMG_1047

Until I had dogs of my own I didn’t fully understand the love you can have for a pet. I now have two and love each of them in their own special way. I don’t know what I’d do if it was cancer, or something that needs lots of expensive treatments, but I know I would do more now than I would have thought anyone should. But the unconditional love of these dogs has taken my heart and I am glad I don’t have to make that decision at this point and hope I never do.

A New Year, A New Resolution

It’s hard to believe that it’s already 2016. A New Year, a new resolution or two. It’s time to close out one year and prepare for the next.

I’m looking back over the last year and see that I’ve started a new chapter in my life. While I’m still working things out I know I’m going into the right direction.

My first resolution is to continue my blog. My blog is still in the works and I’m learning all kinds of things. I can’t wait to put them into action.  I’m still having some technical issues, but see things coming together in the very near future.

Those following and reading, I hope you’ll stick with me as I put it together.

My New years resolution is to keep going and working my a- – off.

I would love your opinions. I’ve gotten a few but would love more.  Please comment, message me on facebook or send me an email. There’s also a contact form below.

I’m looking forward to a fabulous 2016 and putting my resolutions into action.

Communication With Your Teenager

Trust Your Mom

Having good communication with your teenager is hard, but so important. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that. It takes good communication to get them to trust you.

We’ve had several discussions on how to handle communication. We’ve gone back and forth and I think we are finally at a point where we can communicate, talk and have trust.

The best conversations I have with my kids are in the car. I used to drive them to school when they were younger. Looking back, I know that’s when I learned a lot about what they were thinking.

Over the years I’ve had to make coming to me a safe place to go when they need help. I’m not talking about tying a shoe or doing laundry for them, but when there’s peer pressure.

They have heard many things from me, including how to get away with not giving in or if it’s a hard situation how to get out of it. For example, if they are in a situation where they are being super pressured into drinking a beer, go to the bathroom, dump out the beer and fill it with water. Nobody will know.

If there ride has been drinking or doing drugs or if they themselves are too drunk to drive, I’ve told them to call me and I’ll come get them no questions asked.

One day my younger son said “I know you’ve said I can call and no questions asked, but I feel like you will get mad at me”. I had to think fast on my feet. How can I make him feel safe and trust me.

Ah ha!

I told him “if that happens and I start giving you a hard time just remind me I said no questions asked. However, I will be so happy that you did the right thing and you won’t die or kill someone I’m sure I won’t be mad.”

The town I live in has lost a number of kids because someone got behind the wheel and the others got in the car with them. No parent should have to deal with that. Teach them well and offer them a no questions asked way out so they feel safe.

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