Kids don’t come with a manual to help us in raising responsible adults. Even if they, each child is different in many ways. I have two kids and they have completely different personalities. They know that I love them both the same amount even though I treat them different. That’s because they are both different and they know we each have our own special relationship.
One thing I have always done is take each child’s personality and look at what they are good at and what they like to do, then encourage them to go with what’s in your heart.
An example of how they are different and how we work things out is what we do when it comes to meals, one hates cooking and the other likes it. The one that hates to cook would rather clean all the pots and pans from dinner. So that’s what we do.
I’ve tried to pinpoint what it is that I did to raise two responsible children. Responsible doesn’t look the same in either of them. One is very driven, does well in school, activities and really spends lots of time bettering himself. My other child isn’t as driven but still responsible and always comes through when he has to do something and does it with a smile (well, most of the time). They know what their responsibilities are around the house and even if I have to remind them they will do it.
A big thing I can attribute to this is teaching them morals and honesty. I want them to be themselves but know I’m always here for them. I give them trust and they continue to earn it. I’m aware that can change at any moment, but will trust them until they prove me otherwise.
I love them and let them know that love looks different in each person. I respect their privacy as long as they don’t take advantage of my respect. At times I’ve needed to talk to them about what’s important in the world. I’ve let them know that no matter what they did I would always love them. I may not like them or what they’ve done at times, but I will always love them.
They have always been first for me. As I’ve laid down house rules and responsibilities, which are subject to change, and stay consistent. When I talk to them about a consequence for their actions I always make sure I can follow through. I’ve supported them when they needed help in school, with friendships and even bullying. Good times and bad times I’ve always been there.
When I am away or working or whatever, I can trust them to be at home by themselves. They know I trust them and don’t want to lose that so they follow the rules and don’t take advantage. One of my kids even asked me if his prescription was ready and when I said yes he went to pick it up himself.
Of course they fought just like other siblings do over the years, but now they have matured and are more thoughtful of each other. They still disagree and debate, but overall they do get along. They respect each other and me. We all respect each other.
The most important thing your kids need to know is that no matter what, you love them and you are there for them, follow through with what you say and teach them good morals.