When you lose a loved one it is so hard. Their world has just been turned completely upside down. One of the hardest things is for those that aren’t affected by this tragedy that want to do something but just don’t know what to do. Here’s 10 tips to help someone grieving.
- Send a card, sympathy or just a thinking about you card. It’s a small way for people to feel that people are thinking of them.
- Get them restaurant gift cards. Sometimes it’s all you can do to get out of bed. Cooking makes eating an unimaginable chore.
- When you see them, say hello or I’m sorry, acknowledging their loss is so simple but all that’s needed. People struggle with what to say when a simple I’m sorry is perfect.
- Don’t try to solve the “problem”, there is no problem to solve, they just need time and patience to work through their grief.
- See if someone has put together a list of things they need, like meals, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.
- Make a donation to help the family financially if there is a gofundme.com page. Even $5 helps. The last thing people want to do is worry about the small stuff and this is a way to help them.
- If there’s no gofundme.com page then make a donation in memory of the loved one that died.
- Let them cry if they want and if they don’t cry, don’t be worried. Everyone deals with grief differently and whether or not crying is present doesn’t mean they don’t feel the loss.
- Don’t exclude them from invitations, they may say no, but being remembered is important. Especially three months down the road when everyone has gone back to their everyday lives.
- Most important be patient, it takes time and each person is on their own time frames. Let them know it’s ok to change their mind last minute. If they are having a bad day the last thing they want to do is put on their happy face and be cheerful.
These are just a few things that are helpful when trying to help someone grieving. In the very beginning grief is all they can see. By using some of these tips it allows them to feel normal. Normal has changed for them and it will take a while to find the new normal.
I think the most important tip is to be patient. Sometimes they just need to stay home and rest, or find something else to do. Know that whatever they do is normal. Normal for them, but it is normal.